First Date
by Tracy-Lou
Summary: Ste has a date. Based loosely on the upcoming spoilers. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Ste has a date. Based loosely on the upcoming spoilers. One-shot.

First Date

"How do I look?" Ste turned around, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Doug gave him a quick once-over. "Great" he said, none too enthusiastically.

Ste frowned. "You're just saying that"

"Don't be silly" Doug said, smiling easily. "You look great, really great"

Ste grinned a little, turning to the mirror to scrutinise himself. He was wearing dark, skinny jeans and a buttoned blue shirt. Doug had helped him pick them out; he'd been a real mate through all this.

"Thanks, Dougie" Ste said, looking in the mirror back at his friend.

"What for?" Doug asked, a little baffled.

"Helping with my profile, finding me a date"

Doug's cheeks flushed a little. "Don't mention it"

Ste began fiddling with his hair. He had decided to let it grow out again. He noticed the blonde seeping through his roots. He frowned a little. "Should I dye it again?"

"Your hair? Nah, looks better lighter"

"You think?"

"Matches your skin tone" Doug said, smirking.

Ste rolled his eyes. "Alright sorry, not exactly "guy talk", is it?"

"I don't mind"

"This is what you get for having a best friend who's gay"

"Ste-"

"I'm only kidding" Ste glanced at his watch. "I better get going" he took a deep breath, laughing a little breathlessly. "Why am I so nervous?"

"First date and all that" Doug said, his voice surprisingly dull.

"I haven't had one for a long time"

"Didn't you and Brendan-" Doug cut off at the look on Ste's face. "Sorry"

Ste shook his head, even more flustered at the mention of Brendan's name. It wasn't Doug's fault, he didn't understand that Ste wasn't completely over everything. Ste did such a good job of pretending, he almost fooled himself sometimes.

"I think I should come with you" Doug piped up suddenly.

Ste turned to him, frowning. "Why?"

Doug looked at him, eyes wide and anxious. "You're meeting someone online, Ste. Do you know how dangerous that can be?"

"You weren't saying this before!"

"I know" Doug looked at his hands, twisting them together. "But you know, Bex-"

"Doug" Ste sat on the bed beside him, gripping his leg comfortingly. "I'll be fine, I promise. We're only going to the SU bar, broad daylight and all that"

"You're sure?"

"Of course I am" Ste said, releasing his leg. "And I'll text you, let you know how it's going"

"Okay, thanks" Doug smiled, relieved. "If you wanna get out of there, I can fake an emergency pretty well"

Ste laughed. "I'll bear that in mind" He stood up again, risking one more glance in the mirror. "I'll see you tonight, yeah? You're still coming over for the film?"

"Course" Doug said. He still looked a little unsure.

"Honestly, I'll be fine"

"I know" Doug said, attempting to smile reassuringly.

"I'll see you later" Ste said pointedly, moving out the door.

xxx

Ste arrived right on time. He lingered outside the SU bar, nervously touching his hair to make sure it was still in place. For all his reassurances to Doug, he was beginning to have doubts of his own. He'd only spoken to this guy a few times, Tom his name was. He seemed alright; he was some kind of businessman, a few years older than Ste. He seemed alright in his picture, dark haired and tanned, muscled. Ste had spent ages deciding on a picture to send back. He wasn't exactly the most confident of people. Brendan had always teased him for it whenever he needed reassurance, saying that if he wasn't so fucking beautiful why would Brendan bother? Ste didn't know if he had been ironic or not.

Why was thinking about Brendan now? That certainly wasn't going to calm his nerves.

"Stephen?"

Ste tensed immediately. But it wasn't that Irish drawl. He turned and smiled, taking in the man in front of him.

"Tom" he said, taking his offered hand. Quite formal. "It's Ste, by the way"

"Oh sorry" Tom grinned. "I'll get us some drinks?"

"Sure, great" Ste took a seat as Tom went inside. He immediately brought out his phone.

_He's wearing flipflops! Kill me now._

Doug replied a few seconds later.

_Emergency time?_

Ste laughed a little.

_Not yet. Thanks._

Tom came out, carrying their drinks. Ste couldn't help looking down at his feet. He dragged his eyes to his face, wearing his best smile. "Cheers" he said, taking a sip.

They chatted while they drank, getting to know each other. Turned out Tom worked in the city, an investment banker. He began telling Ste about his job, Ste nodding along, pretending to be interested. He was an alright guy really, if not a little dull.

"And what do you do?" Tom asked, smiling at Ste brightly.

"Oh, me and my mate Doug have our own business"

"Oh really?" Tom sat up straighter. "What is it?"

"A deli, I'm a chef, me. Doug handles the business side of things"

"Are you and Doug...?" Tom trailed off.

Ste didn't catch on at first. His eyes widened. "Oh no! Course not, he's straight" Ste smiled.

"If you ever need business advice, you know who to ask now" Tom said, with a wink. Ste blushed a little.

"Ta" He looked at their empty glasses. "I'll get another round in, yeah?"

He glanced back as he went, Tom was already on his blackberry. Ste sighed, pushing open the SU bar doors.

He returned a little later than intended, the bar had been packed and Dodger had teased him a little about his date.

"Not really your type, mate" he said, pouring Ste's drinks.

"What would you know, eh?" Ste countered, handing him a note.

"Just saying" Dodger said, smirking and holding up his hands.

Ste glowered at him, taking the drinks back outside.

When he got there however, he very nearly dropped them. Tom was nowhere to be seen and in his place sat-

"Brendan" Ste said, wih a deep sigh of resignation. "What are you doing here?"

"Enjoying the view" Brendan said, leaning back and squinting at the sun. "Aren't you hot in those, Stephen?" Brendan asked, shamelessly checking Ste's jeans out from the back.

Ste sat down awkwardly, trying to cover himself. "No" he said shortly, slamming his drinks down. "Where's Tom?"

"Thomas had a call from work, had to dash" Brendan said lazily, taking one of the drinks without asking.

"Did he really?" Ste arched an eyebrow, unconvinced.

"Would I lie to ye, Stephen?"

"Yes" Ste said, unflinching.

"Now that does hurt" Brendan pushed the drink away, his gaze suddenly serious and intense. Ste wilted a little, averting his eyes. "What were ye thinking of, hm? Online dating?"

"What would you know about it?" Ste accused, his hands already beginning to shake. How did Brendan still have this effect on him?

"Stephen" Brendan said, looking at him directly. "If yer bed is getting cold at night, ye know who to ask-"

"Well it wouldn't be _you" _Ste said scathingly, about to rise. Brendan grabbed his wrist.

"Now, now. I only want to talk"

"Let go of me" Ste said, frustrated. Brendan merely moved to grab Ste's hand, his hand warm, stirring distant memories in Ste that he was desperate to forget. "Why are you doing this?" Ste asked, despairing. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Brendan's expression changed. He looked confused, like he didn't really know the answer to that question himself. "I only want what's best for ye" he said, his eyes soft.

Ste looked down, unable to tolerate the fluttering in his stomach at Brendan's words. "It's too late" he said, echoing an earlier time, when Brendan had believed his words alone could solve anything.

"I still love ye" Brendan said. Ste, against his better judgement, looked at him in surprise. "That isn't going to change, ever"

"Could have fooled me" Ste said quietly.

"Those men didn't mean anything" Brendan said dismissively.

"That's not what I meant and you know it" Ste said, looking at him hard.

Brendan looked away, ashamed. "What can I do?"

"There's nothing" Ste tried to wriggle his hand out of Brendan's grip but he held on tighter. "Please, Brendan. It's hard enough without-" Ste cut off, cursing himself at his poor choice of words.

Brendan's eyes flickered with triumpth. "Ye still want me?" It wasn't really a question.

"Brendan-"

"Answer the question, Stephen"

Ste looked at him carefully. "There's no right way to answer that"

"Try"

Ste sighed, feeling the dread settle in his stomach. "I think a part of me will always have feelings for you" he admitted.

Brendan's hand loosened. "It's all I needed to hear" he said quietly, as if to himself.

"It doesn't change anything" Ste said quickly, as Brendan rose. Ste's hand felt cold and empty without him. Wasn't that all he had ever wanted, for Brendan to hold a part of him in public? It wasn't enough anymore.

"It changes everything" Brendan said, draining the rest of his glass. "The sooner ye realise that I'm always gonna be here, the better"

Ste gulped visibly. "What's the point?" He said, in a last ditch attempt. "What's the point in any of this?"

Brendan looked at him, not answering straight away. "Ye are, of course" he said, reaching to brush a few strands of hair away from Ste's forehead. "I like it lighter" he said quietly.

Ste opened his mouth to reply but no sound came out. How did he always disarm him like that with some innocuous statement?

"I'll see ye around, Stephen" It wasn't a threat, it sounded more like a promise.

"I suppose you will" Ste replied, at a loss.

Brendan nodded briefly before disappearing down the steps.

Doug appeared a few moments later, glancing after Brendan.

"What was he doing here?"

Ste put his head in his hands. "Don't ask" he groaned. He heard Doug sit down opposite him.

"I saw Tom on my way here" Doug said.

Ste looked up. "You did?"

"He apologised again for having to rush off, emergency at work or something"

Ste's expression changed. "He wasn't lying" he said quietly, wonderingly.

"What?" Doug frowned. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah" Ste shook his head to clear it. "Can we go? I've had enough for one day"

"Course" Doug smiled, standing. "How was the date besides that? Was it the start of anything?"

"Maybe" Ste said, not meaning Tom at all. "Just maybe"


End file.
